Loneliness

WALKING THROUGH THE ROADS WALKED EVERYDAY, BUT SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT TODAY, SUDDENLY FELT THE LONELINESS IN ME, DID NOW KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING, ALTHOUGH THE ROAD IS BEING COVERED WITH PEOPLE, JUST FELT THE LONELINESS, THE DARKNESS… inside me…

Maybe things did not go as I thought for these few weeks, but changes can be seen since the day I was separated with my buddies, things has gone way far, way different than I expected. I felt alone, I felt that I did not have friends anymore, and even the person whom I chat through the phone, was gone, and I am all alone.

Things are so different when I moved back to the city, or maybe moving to a rural area wasn’t a good idea after all. Perhaps, looking at the world in a wider scale was a bad idea, but things definitely had cleared up my mind a lot. The word “lonely” is used in the city, while the word “peaceful” is used in a rural area. Lonely is because I am alone, peaceful is also because I am alone, but the feeling is different. Lonely is because I am alone without anymore friends, peaceful was because I met too much friends and it is time for me to be myself again.

City and rural, definitely brought a big changes towards my life, maybe this is what “culture shock” actually meant. But being a city boy for 18 years before moving to a rural area, adapting back to a life in a city definitely will not be a problem. But here comes the problem again, I am lonely, and just in a sudden, all of the memories flashes through my mind when I was in that rural area for two years, where everyone knew everybody. But in the city, all we can do is to protect ourselves from getting to know somebody, just for self protection, which makes the city unsafe, not trustable, and therefore, the only person whom a person could trust would be ourselves and of course, our buddies, no others.

Walking down the same path which is walked everyday just for 5 minutes, has brought me to another level of thoughts, life in the city depends on ourselves, all we do are for our own good, and any problems we faced must be discovered, must be solved by ourselves. Although it might be hard, but face the fact, this is the life of a city. Here comes the question, is rural better or is it that the city is better? The answer depends on the thought itself…